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It had been over a week
since Tristan had left.
I came home one night,
from a walk by myself, to find him gone. I feared that he’d
gone to die somewhere, and I believed him dead for a short
while.
He’d been sick,
unexplainably sick. As the colder weather set in, he’d grown
tired, listless, and finally did not go out to feed. I fed
him small infusions of my blood, but it seemed not to help.
He was too tired to even hold me often, or kiss me. I laid
next to him during the days listening to him breathe, a
horrible wheezing deep in his lungs. He was dying, and I
could tell.
I didn’t know what to
do. I was horribly upset. I stayed close by him, hoping for
any kind of miracle that could happen to save him. But what
could I wish for? We were not what you could call normal. We
were a horrible breed of something sinister, something
paranormal. It was not as if I could take him to a
conventional doctor.
I confided my fears in
my dear friend Epheny. She was a vampire as well, her and
her lover Jordan, although of a different breed. How this
was possible I didn’t know. We’d crossed each other’s paths
earlier in the year, and had become fast and close friends.
Jordan and Tristan also became fast friends, after initial
distrust on Tristan’s part. They resembled each other so
much that they could be mistaken for twins. They lived to
the north a bit. Epheny and I rarely saw each other; yet
spoke quite constantly through modern technology. Tristan
and Jordan, however, were a pair of twin rogues, and Tristan
was a constant visitor to them.
The night he left, I had
come home from the small walk around where we lived, for it
was not so cold that night. I had left him, still asleep in
our bed, and went to see if I could salvage any blood for
myself so that I might have more to give him when I got
back.
He was gone when I
opened the door. The bed was mussed, the sheets tangled.
Panicking immediately, I feared that he’d gone to die, not
wanting me to see him dead. It would have been more than I
could handle.
I contacted Epheny, she
had not seen him, and he was not there. I confided to her
that I feared he may have gone to die, and she could not
console me. Within minutes of contacting Jordan in her head,
she informed me that Jordan had Tristan with him, and had
taken him to some hidden sanctuary to try to heal him.
He was alive, although
violently ill and I could not help thinking it was my fault.
Epheny tried to tell me that it wasn’t, but I couldn’t
believe her.
When Jordan returned to
his home in the north, Tristan in tow, it was a speedy
recovery. But heavy snows prevented Tristan from coming
home. As much as I needed him and wanted him, I feared for
his health and safety, and told him to stay with Epheny and
Jordan.
Loneliness was always
something I could not stand. It began to eat at my insides,
giving me insane thoughts. I did not go out, I did not feed.
I wanted Tristan, but it continued to snow. In agony I cut
at myself, trying to get out the horrible feelings I was
harboring inside of me.
Epheny continued to be
my only solace. Finally she sent Jordan to me, to take care
of me as he’d done once before. Upon his arrival I threw
myself in his arms and began to kiss him all over his face,
because I had forgotten that he was not Tristan. They so
resembled each other that in my madness I had forgotten.
Jordan carried himself very differently than Tristan, but I
had taken no notice.
Jordan, forever doteful,
took brilliant care of me. I had not slept in the time that
Tristan was gone, sitting forever playing with our computer,
cutting at myself, writing endless poems about how much I
ached, and thinking. He immediately prescribed sleep for me,
taking me to my bed, wrapping his arms about me and cradling
me to sleep. He smelled like heavenly patchouli, and I
drifted to sleep, slumbering many hours.
I dreamt of Tristan
during this time. I dreamt of him coming to me, of our night
long ago when we’d made love in Italy for that final time,
and I awoke the following night next to Jordan, who was
sleeping peacefully next to me. Groggy from the dreams, I
snuggled up to him and began to kiss him, forgetting once
again that he was not Tristan. In my need, I forgot.
He was so kind to
indulge me. He kissed me back for a long moment, then pushed
me away gently.
"Jacinda," he said
softly. "Not Tristan." He eased me down slowly, so that I
was facing him and my head was on the pillow next to him,
and he kissed my nose gently. "Not Tristan."
I covered my face with
my hands. "Oh, Jordan," I mumbled. "I’m sorry… I just...
miss him."
He reached to hug me.
"It’s alright." He said cheerfully. "I know." He pushed my
hair behind my ear. "He’ll be home before you know it,
Jacks."
I sighed. I hoped so,
and I was suddenly tired again, so I nestled down next to
him again and went to sleep.
Too many days it seemed
passed, with Jordan and I spending this time inside, with
him occasionally going out to get something to eat for
himself. He was very good to me, cuddling me and hugging me
constantly, and trying to cheer me up. I spent time in my
bed crying, missing Tristan. And I would wake up in Jordan’s
arms, and have to remind myself after snuggling closer to
him that he was not Tristan.
Early one evening Jordan
was playing with our computer, and he informed me that
Tristan wanted to speak with me. I was crying in my bed,
which he didn’t see, but he came and picked me up and took
me to the screen.
"Yes, angel. I’m coming
home. And I’ve a surprise." Tristan told me through the
monitor. Ah, the miracles of the modern age.
A surprise? I questioned
him. "What sort, Tristan?" I didn’t care if he was bringing
Death with him, I just wanted him. And he wanted me just as
badly, which I couldn’t fathom, because I always thought he
could do without me, and at some point would leave me.
I was pleasantly shocked
when I heard. He’d located more of that wonderful potion
that had given us that one happy night so long ago. The
alchemyst, however immortal he was, had given him more. My
head swam with the idea. I looked at myself, the mess I had
become, and knew that I’d have to take care of myself before
he got home. I couldn’t let him see how demised I’d become,
although I had the feeling he already knew.
As I turned the computer
off, Jordan was smiling that huge grin he gets. "Is he on
his way home?" he asked?
"Yes." I answered. He
was looking at me funny, and I sensed that he knew what I
was thinking.
He let out a low
whistle. And then he rose from the bed and brushed himself
off.
"Well, Jacks, I’m off
then. I need to get back to Epheny. I can’t go so long
without her…." His eyes misted over a little.
"Jordan, you shouldn’t
have come." I said. "You need Ephy like I need Tristan… and,
you just shouldn’t have wasted your time on me." I rose to
see him out.
He came over and
enveloped me in a hug. "Yes I did." He replied, kissing the
top of my head. “Besides, if I didn’t come, Epheny would
have had my head on a plate! She cares about you, Jaxxy. She
loves you, even."
He drew back and headed
to the door. "And so do I."
And with that, he
disappeared out and was gone.
Now I paced the floor
waiting for him. I had brushed my hair out, washed my face,
the tearstains away. I put on some fresh clothes, and lit
the lilac scented candles. The passion scented incense was
burning, and I was becoming impatient. Please, Tristan. I
said in my head. Come.
I lay down in our bed
and buried my head in my pillow. Come, Tristan! Please!
I heard the door creak
open and I didn’t move. I heard him coming closer and then
felt him sit down on the bed next to me.
I shot up and wrapped my
arms around him fiercely, kissing his cheeks, his hair, and
his eyelids.
"Jacinda...” he said
softly. I kissed his throat, his chin, and finally, his
lips. He had his arms around me and in my hair.
I broke the kiss after a
long moment, and looked at him. Perfect. Beautiful. Mine.
"Yes, yours," he said
with a small smile. "Utterly yours." He hugged me tight
again.
We didn’t speak. After
he’d released me, I had taken him by his hand and led him
into the bathroom. I had promised to wash his hair,
something I loved to do, when he’d returned.
Letting his hands go, I
started the water in the sunken black bathtub, the water
swirling and bubbling, and I added some of my lily scented
bath salts. Almost shyly, I turned back to him.
"You can get in the tub
if you like," I said softly. He smiled.
"Of course." He replied.
I had forgotten the shampoo in the little adjoining room to
this bathroom, and I scurried to retrieve it.
When I returned, he was
standing there, Adonis-like, looking at me. I stopped, and
marveled at his beauty. So skinny, but yet so defined, he
was. I felt a wave of desire run through me, and I dropped
my eyes. Things had not been like this between us for quite
some time, and I didn’t know how to react.
He slipped into the tub,
and I grabbed some towels and dropped them to the floor for
my knees. He had just settled himself when I knelt down
behind him, and he leaned his head back and I opened my
hands to receive it.
"Mmm" he mumbled,
turning his head to kiss my fingers as I smoothed his hair
back over his forehead, my other hand taking water and
dripping it onto his head.
I took the small pitcher
that sat on the side of the tub and dipped it into the water
and then spilled it over his head, soaking his hair. I made
sure not to drip any in his eyes, and took the shampoo and
rubbed it into his scalp tenderly, massaging his scalp. He
closed his eyes and sighed.
When I had rinsed all
the soap out of his hair, I combed it back with my fingers
and smoothed it down, kissing his forehead. He looked up at
me, and then reached up and took me by my shoulders and
pulled me down into the tub with him.
"Tristan!" I squealed. I
was still dressed, in simple black pants and black tank top.
I tried to stop myself from falling in the water, but it was
no use. In I went clothes and all.
He was chuckling as he
sat up in the tub and moved to put his arms around me, but I
splashed at him. "What did you go and do that for?" I said.
"Now I’m all wet!"
"Yes, and you look so
pretty when your hair is all wet like that!" he replied. He
came closer to me and took me in his arms.
"Tristan!" I protested
again, wanting to get out of the tub. I felt horribly
awkward with my clothes on in the water.
He kissed my shoulder,
moving the strap of my tank top down over to the top of my
arm. I suddenly became like the water and couldn’t move,
smelling the lily in his hair, and the warm jasmine that he
almost always smelled like.
I playfully pushed at
him. "Ok, fishie," I said. "Let me get out of this tub!" I
pulled myself out of his arms and drew myself out of the
tub, dripping every step of the way. I’d have to go and
change.
"No no no." Tristan
said, hearing my thoughts again. I wondered where he’d
gotten the ability to do that, because the power had never
been so strong before.
"No no no what?" I said.
I went into the little room again and peeled off the wet
clothes, and put on my fluffy blue robe that was hanging
there. My hair hung in tangles at my shoulders.
He came into the little
room, wrapped in one of the blue towels that I’d dropped to
the floor. He stared at me for a long moment, then in one
sweeping motion lifted me off my feet and carried me back
into the bedroom.
My thoughts drifted to
the potion. Where was it? And shamefully I realized that I
wanted him badly, badly than I’d ever wanted him before.
"In my blood," he said
suddenly, dropping me to our bed and laying down next to me.
"Hmm?" I questioned, not
understanding what he meant.
"The potion is running
through my blood." He explained.
"You drank all of it?" I
said, mock hurt
"Yes…." He said. “If you
want some, you’re going to have to come and get it." He
pointed at his lips.
I leaned over and kissed
him on the cheek. "Considering it only works if BOTH of us
take it…" I teased. "I suppose...”
I kissed his lips and I
felt his tongue pass into my mouth, and I bit it gently. The
blood began to flow, liquid burning fast. Starved for blood
as I was, I drank from him faster and faster, until I
couldn’t take anymore and he was gasping for breath when I
broke the kiss, ruby droplets clinging to his lips.
He laid down, his chest
heaving. I knew at once that I’d taken too much.
"Tristan... im sorry! I
took too much from you…" I started to choke up, but I could
feel the potion already starting to do its miracle.
I was surprised when he
reached up and put his finger to my lips. "Shhh...” he said.
"No."
Surprising me even
further, he propped himself up and took me in his arms, so
that I fell beneath him and he started kissing my neck. My
hands wound themselves in his still wet hair, messing it. He
gently bit me and started drawing some of that blood back,
sending pleasing shocks throughout my body right down to my
toes.
When he’d finished, he
let the wound close, and pulled up the covers of our bed
around us. I looked up at him, and he was gazing down at me.
My robe had come undone, and he was looking at me with his
eyes full of love and desire.
"Love...” he whispered,
and then kissed me hungrily. I felt the shocks again as his
body joined with mine, and we began to rock in time. Yes I
thought. Yes. This is love and you are mine and we are one.
This is how it’ always been for so long. Yes, you love me. I
know. My thoughts raced as the feelings inside of me began
to build and threatened to erupt.
I could hear his
thoughts as he cradled my back, as he moved with me. Angel,
he was thinking. Pretty little angel, my little angel. I
love my angel. I don’t ever want to go away again; there
will never be anyone else. Never. Then his thoughts drifted
to the future, how he was going to spend every waking minute
making sure that the angel never hurt again, how he’d die
for her to be happy.
I began to cry. No. I
told him. We’ll make each other happy, and we’ll love
together and live together and eventually die together, but
we’ll go on as long as this dark gift allows us to.
Yes, he said, and bent
down and kissed the tears out of my eyes gently, as our
bodies went into the final rhythm together. I let out a
small cry of satisfaction, and he had closed his eyes and
kissed me, then gathered me in his arms after letting my
body go.
We lay there, until the
dawn came, saying nothing. I was running my fingers through
his hair and he occasionally would kiss my shoulder or my
arm as I did so. I could feel my eyes getting heavy with the
fatigue, and my eyes were slipping shut. He hugged me close
and buried his face in my hair, falling asleep the same time
I did, falling to dreams of warmth and peace.
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